I have been proud of my what I call my inner Glaswegian in the past. Being able to call on him when feeling threatened or facing aggression has felt useful.
But I now realise that he is a liability. He can’t face my fragility and wants to run and hide from uncomfortable feelings by attacking what he sees as their source.
But he is a sign of weakness, not of strength. The feelings that he is terrified of and is trying to push away are the raw wounds of past hurt that he is determined not to deal with.
He is quite sad really. I don’t want to be like him when I grow up.