There are such strong forces in place to make us conform. From our parents to our schooling, to our media and our innate herd instincts. We are faced with compelling narratives that encourage us not to think for ourselves and not to risk standing out.
But these are the very same narratives that cause our unhappiness, that make us feel that we are somehow or other not good enough, that we haven’t matched up to some standard set by others against which we measure ourselves.
The hardest thing is that the strongest voice in this coercive system of control is in our own heads. The chattering monkey that never shuts up is running a constant commentary on our thoughts and actions and is usually not a cheerleader!
But we don’t have to listen to it. We don’t have to fit in and we don’t have to behave. Even if we fear that to not behave is going to unleash some sort of second Hitler that is hidden deep in our psyche we have to ignore that nonsense and trust ourselves to be ourselves.
If we weren’t so confused and beaten up by the voices yelling at us from inside and out we would would be calm. We could be gentle. We would be kind. It is our natural state. Why on earth would we be otherwise?
2 thoughts on “Not playing by the rules.”
See The Chimp Paradox by Dr Steve Peters.
Yep, read it a few years ago.