A new anxiety dream

You know what it is like when you are anxious about doing something significant and intimidating the following day and you dream about a challenging event from your past? Well until now I have had two.

The first was of turning up for my final exams in Lower College Hall in St. Andrews, feeling smug about having had so much fun, and doing so little work, and getting away with it. Then I see all these people waiting outside the exam room holding books I have never seen in my life and being filled with terror at the ordeal I was about to face.

The second was of being about to go on air with a live transmission at The BBC World Service (usually for the Latin Americans for some reason). I’m keyed up but in control until I try to put one of the longer, larger, 2400 1/4″ tape spools on a tape machine. The spools require a plastic centre to localate them on the spindle and these things were always in short supply. There wasn’t one, and I’m desperately trying to get the tape to stay on the machine. As I do so the spool evaporates and hundreds of feet of tape start spilling onto the floor.

Last night, feeling anxious about moderating the opening session here at KM World in Washington, I had a new anxiety dream!

I had arrived at the conference driving a large truck. I was late and I was getting more and more stressed at having to navigate it down tight city streets to get to the event. I had to go the wrong way up a one way street and ended up having to park it somewhere I shouldn’t and had to keep nipping out of the event to check it was OK.

I suppose I should be grateful to have a little more variety in my deep psychological and emotional scars!