I don’t want to go into too much detail online about my driving jobs but some days are hard. They test my limits both in terms of skill and psychology.
I know that I will pass through the feelings of incompetence that something new brings, I almost always do, but the feelings are nonetheless uncomfortable while they are there. It may have been easier when I was younger, when everything was new and you were learning constantly, but I am not sure.
Maybe it is to do with pride, with not wanting to look a chump, even to myself let alone anyone else. The hardest thing is shutting up the voice in my head that is constantly telling me how useless I am, how I will never master this new challenge, how daft I am for trying.
But the feeling of not running away is satisfying. In fact I always remember reading somewhere that it’s not that brave people don’t feel fear – it’s just that they keep going despite it.
Managing my fears and getting better at ignoring that negative voice in the back of my head are the real skills that I am sharpening with my new adventures. And that has to be a good thing.